SuperLove!

A blast from the past email from the oh-so-perfect stepmother…

Please, Bio-Mom. There just must not be enough love in this world……not sure if it is hormones or what, but I have even recently thought, as I used to before the drama became evident, “hmmmm, wouldn’t it feel nice to drop by Bio-mom’s work with the boys just so they can run in and say hi”….or “maybe Bio-mom would love some fresh flowers, just because…” ……all of this because I know what love on this earth can do – ok, maybe not really “love” in this situation, that is a real reach at this point, but at least the whole Random Act of Kindness gig……NO sarcasm in that either…..but then I always wake from that fantasy with the reality of the dishonesty dished out our way. In another life, I would still be able to do those things. I do believe in the creed of my bumper stickers, I am just not the saint who wrote them. I wish I could reach out and provide Random Acts of Kindness to you, if only for selfish reasons, because I know deep down how good that would actually feel…and because maybe, just maybe, that would make a difference to you and this dishonesty and bullony would stop. There is a quote I adore: “When they conk you on the head with their billysticks, zap them right back with superlove.” I feel like my head has been conked on plenty by you, but I’ll be darned if I can muster the ability to zap you back with any of form superlove.

Now, while this woman has sent me reams and reams of crazy-ass emails, this one is my favorite. I mean, where the hell did that quote come from? I googled it, and sure enough there was an entry on urbandictionary.com or some such site. But I’m pretty sure she submitted it herself.

Oh, and the dishonesty and ‘bullony’ to which she refers? No idea. Except maybe it pissed them off when I challenged their attempt to change the custody agreement SIX months after they met. I’ve asked for examples of my ‘dishonesty’, etc, but somehow that evidence is never forthcoming.

And the bumper stickers? One of my other favorite things. Both of their vehicles now have bumper stickers that say hippie-sweet things such as, “With Love, All Things Are Possible” and “Peace is Possible”. I totally called her on the hypocrisy of sporting such sentiments, while continuing to send crazy emails on a daily basis.

Hope everyone has a SUPERLOVE sort of day! Go SUPERLOVE someone. Or yourself!

My 4th grader is a co-parent. Already.

Boy 2 showed me one of his favorite stuffed kittens today.  Snowball apparently has fur cancer, but has been cleaned by Boy 2’s ‘girlfriend’, so is well on the way to recovery.  Thank god for fur cancer miracles!  Anyways, Boy 2 informed me that it is Snowball’s week to stay with him.  I guess Boy 2 and his little friend have been trading Snowball back and forth (pass-offs occur at recess) in a shared custody type situation.  I asked Boy 2 if he wasn’t just a tad young to already be divorced.  His answer was that he just wasn’t old enough to get married.

Frankly, I’m sure I should be a little more worried about this cavalier attitude at such a young age regarding shared custody.  But in an age where most children live the shuffle life, I don’t think there is any getting around it.  That’s the part I hate about being the half-ass mom.

And the fun begins…

The email that kicked it all off….

10-25-06 I sent this last week to your hotmail account instead of this one, please let me know which one you prefer.

Your response to the motion to change child custody, support and visitation gives even more reason for us to use email as our only contact. The lies and retractions of verbal agreements will come to an end with this being a written docuement of our contact and discussions regaurding the boys.

Let me state again that no communication is to be sent back and forth using the boys as messengers.

Contact through email and using (name deleted) as a visitation mediator will work just fine with some time and practice. We will need to work out a system for the days that I choose to have the boys during your week while they are out of school and you are at work (3 to 6 PM) so that you know where they are at all times during your week.

Again, only barring emergencies regaurding the boys are you to call me by phone. You are more than welcome to call and speak to the boys while they are with me as long as it is before their 8:30 bedtime. I will expect the same and use the same curtiousy using 8:30 as the cutoff time.

It is still mine and (name deleted)’s desire to have the boys with us for the entire week when it is our week reguardless of my work schedule. Until a written agreement is made and filed with the court, the boys will continue to be with you during my work days. I would still be willing to mediate with a mediator or counselor in regaurds to the visitation schedule to comply with the current custody order. Pick a day and a mediator and let me know with some days in advance. I will also research for a mediator.

Please remember to keep the boys out of this mess completely. They do not need to be part of this battle and need not know that you and I are at odds and going to court. This is the most crucial part of being and acting like an adult and protecting our children.

The Ex works 24 hours on, 48 off. Needless to say, shared custody on that kind of schedule took some creative time tooling. But we made it work. Disjointed for the boys? Yes. Probably not the best thing. However, they didn’t have to go for days without seeing either one of us. And now that the boys have gotten older, I see the benefits for them in a week-on, week-off schedule. But at the time? With a woman who had been in their lives for 6 months and who I had hardly met? He wants them to spend the night with her WHILE I am available? No way.

So, first post…

I can’t decide if I’m just supposed to jump in with life or have the explanatory back story here. In perusing other favorite blogs, it seems bloggers just jump in? Okay, I only checked two. And maybe someday the full thing will go in the “justification” page. How about this? I start with some back fill, post current stuff and take you through into the past once in awhile.

Back Fill Part:

Married REAL young (pregnant with Boy 1, of course). Had Boy 2 also really young. Separated in 2002, divorced in 2003. Amicable divorce, by the way. 4 years of for-the-most-part cooperative co-parenting ensue. Ex-Husband meets Love of His Life in January of 2006. By September of 2006, they are cohabbing and Ex-Husband files a motion to change our child custody agreement based on this new arrangement of his. Are you with me still? Okay, this is all fine and dandy until I file the paperwork that says hell, no! I’m the mama! And who is this chick anyways? One and a half years later, the ridiculousness is still happening but now I’m just getting a kick out of it, so thought I would share with the world.

Cheers!